
3 things you should always keep deprived, according to stoicism
“The more you say, the less people remember people.” These words from the ancient stoic philosopher Epicttetus reminds us of the value of selective sharing. In our hyper-connected world, where sharing has become almost reflexive, the wisdom of 2,000-year-old stoicism offers a refreshing perspective on privacy. Stoicism – a philosophy founded in Athens around 300 BCE – emphasizes virtue, self -control and wisdom as paths towards a good life. While the Stoics appreciated the community and the duty, they also recognized that certain aspects of life are better kept.
This article explores three key areas where Stoics recommended discretion and explains why their old wisdom remains relevant today. Whether navigating social networks or daily conversations, these stoic principles can help you find a healthier balance between sharing and privacy, leading to greater peace and more authentic connections.
1. Good deeds and acts of charity
“The reward for good action is to have done it,” wrote Seneca, stressing the stoic belief that virtuous actions do not need public. When we perform actions of kindness or charity mainly for recognition, we corrupt their inherent value. Marcus Aurelius, the Philosopher-Emperor, regularly recalled to do good actions without witnesses, believing that the goodness practiced without public is the purest form of virtue.
In the current world of performative donations and charities, this wisdom is more relevant than ever. The impulse of documenting and sharing each donation or time of volunteering undermines the spirit of real gifts. Stoicism teaches us that true generosity occurs quietly, without expecting praise or social currency. The next time you help someone or contribute to a cause, plan to keep them between you and the recipient – you might discover that privacy improves the satisfaction of giving.
2.
Stoics believed in lasting difficulties with dignity rather than a constant complaint. Epictetus, who was born in slavery and later became a respected philosopher, taught that continually discussing our problems often amplifies them. “This is not what happens to you, but how you react to it,” he said, encouraging a conscious approach to the difficulties.
This does not mean that the Stoics have never shared their challenges – they did so selectively and deliberately. The stoic approach offers a healthier alternative to our time of constant updates and surprised. Instead of disseminating each setback on social networks, plan to entrust to some trusted people who can provide real support. Studies show that blind sharing of difficulties can increase stress and slowdown in emotional treatment. Keeping specific private difficulties creates a space to work them more effectively.
3. Plans and future ambitions
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality,” observed Seneca, stressing our tendency to think too much about future scenarios. The Stoics were prudent to discuss plans and ambitions before materializing. They understood that speaking too early on intentions often provides a false feeling of accomplishment that can undermine the motivation to accomplish the task.
Modern psychology confirms this stoic insight through what researchers call “announcement bias” – the phenomenon where the public declaration of a goal can reduce the probability of achieving it. When we receive praise for simply stating an intention, our brain undergoes a reward similar to the accomplishment. For your most significant goals, remember to keep them private until you have made substantial progress. This approach exploits the quiet power of action on words and protects your motivation from premature satisfaction.
Main to remember
- True virtue does not need an audience; Private acts of goodness are often the most significant.
- The selective sharing of personal difficulties creates a space for effective treatment and authentic support.
- Discussing prematurely objectives can provide a false feeling of achievement that undermines motivation.
- The stoic approach to privacy does not concern isolation but the creation of more authentic connections.
- In a world of constant sharing, strategic confidentiality can become a form of personal care and limits to limits.
- What you choose not to share often reveals more of your values than what you display publicly.
- Privacy allows the development of an authentic self that exists independent of the perceptions of others.
- Stoic confidentiality practices help to focus on what really counts rather than external validation.
- Keeping certain private aspects allows you to maintain greater control over your personal life.
- The most significant experiences often occur in private moments, not in what we show publicly.
A case study: finding balance by stoic privacy
Christine had always been an open book. His social media accounts have documented everything, minor frustrations with important life decisions. Friends knew his salary, his relationship difficulties and the details of his five -year plan. She proclaimed herself of authenticity, but felt more and more worried about maintaining her online presence and found herself to make decisions according to the way they would be perceived rather than what was aligning with her values.
After a particularly stressful period at work, Christine tripped on stoic philosophy through a podcast. The idea that certain things could be better kept private has deeply resonated. She began to experiment with selective sharing, starting with a personal meditation practice that she has not published. To its surprise, the practice seemed more significant without external validation. Then she decided to keep a recent private promotion for two weeks, simply undergoing her accomplishment before announcing it.
The changes were subtle but deep. Christine has not completely abandoned sharing but has become more intentional about it. His relationships have deepened by saving specific conversations for connections in person rather than for public forums. “I’m still myself,” she told a friend, “but now I live my life instead of telling it.” By applying stoic privacy principles, Christine found a balance that allowed an authentic connection without the pressure of constant disclosure.
Conclusion
The stoic approach to privacy offers precious counterweight to our constant sharing culture. By keeping certain aspects of private life – good deeds, personal struggles and plans – we create a space for a more authentic life. It is not a question of becoming secret or to withdraw, but rather of being selective and intentional with what we share and why we share it. Stoics have understood that privacy creates space for real reflection and real growth and that the desire for external validation can make compromises.
While we sail in an increasingly connected world, these ancient principles remind us that everything should not be outsourced. Private life, practiced judiciously, does not become a wall but a window – letting us see us more clearly and connecting significantly with others. The next time you feel the impulse to share something, plan to take a break to ask: would a stoic philosopher approve? The answer could guide you towards a more balanced relationship with privacy and greater tranquility in a noisy world.